Stage Fright Help Centre
Avern from Delaware
Date: Tue, 10 Aug 1999
From: Avern
Subject: Awesome Workshop!
Performance Workshop Discussion Group
Hi everyone!
First of all, it was such a pleasure meeting every last one of you. I had fabulous time at the workshop!
Though we all were trying to conquer the same symptom (stagefright),
we all had our own personal issues that served as the foundation for that
self-consciousness. EVERYONE made noticeable improvements within
their sphere. During the entire weekend, I don't recall Art
making a SINGLE critical comment or judgment except, ironically,
to point out that someone was beating themselves up. It was amazing
that everyone could show such great improvements while Art offered no criticisms,
no
"tips", no quick-fixes...simply exercises.
Now I had read several testimonials on the website before I took the workshop. They were very revealing and clearly showed Art's keen insight into stagefright. However, the advantage of attending the workshop was that no revelations were handed to you. Any revelations you had (or will have) are derived from your own experiences. Your mind can't refute them by saying, "That's great for so-and-so, but my situation's different." Best of all, the revelations themselves evolve. When we had to write down 5 "wins", I initially wrote "I admit that I might not have looked like an idiot during the exercises." A little while later I scribbled that out and wrote "I did not feel like an idiot during the exercises." At first, I was pretty pleased and satisfied with original statement, but then I realized that second statement is simply a fact. It's how I felt and the heck with how I might possibly have appeared to others.
At one point Art had made an analogy of being a hostess offering people some food. Some may be interested; others may decline. My initial thought was "...Yeah, but I would never throw a party so that's kinda hard for me to relate to." Days later, the following dawned on me from out of the blue. When on-stage, I would feel like I was invading the audience's space. I would just hope that they would be accepting and that I wouldn't do anything that would offend their sensibilities (like sing off-key, miss high notes, or make body movements that they might consider odd). I then realized that I'd much rather INVITE the audience into my space... into my world... a place where I'm so at ease and VERYTHING that I do is natural and appropriate because that's just how I feel at that moment in time. It's the exact same difference between how I feel when I go over a stranger's house for the first time as opposed to when I invite a stranger over to my own house. With the former, I worry about not touching things that they might not want to be touched. I try not to go places that they might not have intended guests to go.
On the other hand when I invite someone over, I'm thrilled that I can
share my home and my hospitality with them. Offending them is the
last thing on my mind. Heck, I'm just trying to be nice! If
they
don't like the way I do things or what they see, they're welcome to
excuse themselves from my space.
After this workshop, I feel so much more comfortable with myself and
all the different facets of myself. I don't feel guilty for thinking
highly of myself and I don't belittle the opinions of others by blowing
off
their compliments. I accept them with the same gratitude and
thoughtfulness that I would a physical gift.
Thanks to all of you for sharing yourselves this weekend. Thanks to you, Art for offering us an environment that let us do things we didn't think were possible.
Sincerely,
Avern
Date: Wed. Aug 11, 1999
From: Avern
Subject: Dreams Do Come True
Performance Workshop Discussion Group
Okay, so I've always wanted to (at least ONCE) perform with a live band. Last night happened to be "Open Mike Night" at a local bar. For those who may not be familiar, an open mike night is where anyone can come in off the street and perform on stage either as a band or just playing their guitar or whatever.
Well, "seize the day!", right?? So, I get up the muster to approach the lead singer of this rock band and as if I could sing with them. Mind you I've never laid eyes on this band before in my life. Much to surprise, he responds enthusiastically even though he's NEVER heard me sing. So, he suggests we do "Torn". I only kind of knew the song, but rather than turn him down, I ran home to get the record and started practicing in the car outside the bar. I just kept saying to myself, "My showoffs family will be so proud of me if I actually do this!"
Well, it's an all-male band and I don't know if they've ever done "Torn" before but I was amazed at how much they sounded just like the record, all impromptu! The crowd immediately recognized the music and started cheering before I even opened my mouth. I started singing and next thing I know, one of the band members is harmonizing with me on the chorus. I cannot begin to describe what a thrill this was for me!! Now, halfway through the song my mike went dead and I got lost in the lyrics, but the crowd still LOVED it!
As soon as the song is over, the other band members introduce themselves to me and ask me if I could do some more songs with them next Tuesday at the next open mike night. So, it's like now I have a "gig" for next Tuesday! *laugh!*
Thanks to all of you (especially you, Art) for the support that has made me want to pursue my dreams.
Sincerely,
Avern