Subject: Any literature for sale?

    I’m Patricia, (Trisha for short)...and I am interested in purchasing either a handbook or a set of tips or instructions on how to conquer stage fright. I live in the San Diego, CA area and won't likely be visiting Toronto soon enough to meet my need to tackle this problem NOW. I'm a vocalist who finds herself often being in situations where I've got one shot to demonstrate my abilities (auditions, one-song gigs, etc.) and I find that even if I sound good throughout the brief performance, I feel tight and limited, and I have a thundering headache afterwards that lasts for hours. There's gotta be a better way than this! At the risk of sounding boastful, I have a lot to offer as an entertainer (vocally and dramatically) but I know few others who don't know me well may not get the chance to see all I can do if I can't be at my most relaxed and confident in front of them. HEEEEELLLPP! 

-- Trisha 

Subject: Reply: Any literature for sale?

The way I'm used to teaching is visual and experiential. I am very interested in finding out if I can communicaate through writings and correspondence. I would like to see if I can personally help you by keeping in touch, but I need more information about you. Are you a professional singer? Do you have another job? What type of venues do you do? Do you sing at Karaoke Clubs? Describe in detail how you physically feel before, during and after you sing. How old are you and how long have you been singing?

Right now from your letter, I can only guess and offer this advice:

You have an advantage over a lot of students who come to me. You at least know you can sing and perform. It's the stage fright you have to deal with. Many of my students don't realize that they can sing, so it's a matter of bringing them out of their shell first and raising their self-esteem. So let me take a shot at this.

Based on your letter, I see two fears: the fear of judgment and the fear of making a mistake.

With the fear of judgment you seem concerned about what people are going to think. (not necessarily with how you rate as a singer, but how you rate as a person). Are they going to like you? Are they going to accept you? Are they going to hire you?

At an audition you are simply one of many "meals" on the menu at a restaurant. All the meals are great but it's just a matter of what the customer's taste is that day. Just because he feels like fish that day doesn't mean that the steak is lousy.

Singing is a personal thing and it's not just a matter of good technique and a nice voice, but it's your soul that is exposed. Do you think that some of the fear comes from the fact that people will go past your voice and find out what's really going on inside of you? If that's a possibility then you have to understand that that's exactly what you want them to do... and there's the risk.

Also understand that as a vocalist you are not "good or bad" or "right or wrong". You are what the audience FEELS! Why is it that you can go to a concert and one person in the audience says the artist is great, and the person next to him says the artist is just okay. Both statements are actually false. The person who walks away feeling great says that he's great and the person who walks away just feeling okay says that he was okay. It is 100% true however, to say how you feel and what you like, but it is just opinion to state how a person is. (It depends on what you like on your personal menu).

Therefore it is very important to know, not how you did during your performance, but how you make them feel. There are a lot of singers out there who do not have great voices but are stars. Why do you think that is?

Name a movie you saw a few months ago. You may not even remember the dialogue. You may not remember scenes in great detail. You may not remember the sound of their voices. All you remember now is how you felt when you left that theatre. You might tell people it was a great movie, but only because of how it made you feel.

Fear of making a mistake: People don't like to make mistakes. They don't like to be wrong and they think that making a mistake is wrong. If you "learn" from your mistakes, why do people spend so much time trying to avoid them?

Don't try to be perfect. Perfect people make me feel inadequate. Have you ever met someone at a party who seemed perfect? Don't they make you feel uncomfortable, unequal and make you want to back off a little? Also if I met someone who seemed "perfect", my mind would tell me that no one is perfect. Therefore he must be hiding something. I wouldn't totally trust him and I probably wouldn't want to hang around him. Why would you want to be like someone you wouldn't want to hang around? Isn't it true that you would tend to embrace someone more if they showed imperfections and vulnerability? Imperfections are not wrong. It is the uniqueness that makes a person attractive and stand out from the clones.

--Art

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